The Upside of Loss

In thinking about change, I consider those life changing events that happen where we lose something. Whether it's a job, a marriage, a house or the passing of a dear friend or family member, these events prompt us to question our lives and how we live them. It's those questions we ask of ourselves that open doors for change and growth.

When we become insightful in this way, it helps to sure up the foundations of who we are so we don't fall apart amidst the loss. The self discoveries we make during these hard times become the cement of our beings, reinforcing what is already in place, allowing us to build upon past experiences and helping us to be stronger going forward as we ascend as wiser and more divine beings.

All loss brings with it a fresh start and an opportunity to grow to be and do more with the life we've been given.

With an abundance of peace and love!

Namaste!

Kristen

Creepy.....in a good way.

This past Monday I had something happen that can only be described as creepy, but it was definitely a good thing. I remember sitting on my bed that morning thinking about the yoga class that would be happening that night at 8:00pm at LA Fitness. This class was not mine, it belongs to another instructor named Shelly. I remember thinking to myself that I hoped Shelly would come to me first if she ever decided to give up that class. I went about my day as usual and didn't give it another thought.

That same afternoon, around 3pm, my cell phone rang and I saw it was Shelly. How odd given that I had only been thinking about her that very morning. After some small talk, she got to the point and asked me if I was interested in taking over the Monday night class for her since she simply has too much on her plate right now and that she wanted to ask me first since she knows how much the students enjoy my classes. Weird. Right? Of course my answer to her was DEFINITELY!

The only explanation I have for what happened was that mine and Shelly's energies were synced up and everything happened just right. I don't know how else to explain the quick turn around from thought to actuality. Pretty amazing stuff. Never underestimate the power of your thoughts to bring about change.

With an abundance of love and gratitude,

Kristen

Something to ALWAYS keep in mind...

"The things that challenge us show us what we are made of." - KL

I was chatting with a friend on Facebook and asked her how her life was going with work and school. Her response was only half positive, to which I replied with the above quote. And then I began to see how very relevant it is, even in mundane terms.

A juvenile example resides with my son who I just bought some new jeans for him to wear this fall. The jeans fit him very well and look good, however, the snap in front is tough for him to do by himself. Even for me, I could understand his frustration. The jeans really were difficult to snap and unsnap! At five years old, he's feeling like he's too little and not strong enough to be able to fasten these challenging jeans by himself. To this I said to him in my silly, but encouraging voice "You show those jeans who's boss. Show them what you are made of. Don't let them win. You are so much stronger than you think." And you know what, he hasn't had a problem since.

Everyday challenges from button snaps to dealing with whiny children or rude people, you have a choice......let the moment take you down and show you who's boss and win.....OR.....YOU show it who's boss and YOU show that challenging moment what YOU are made of. You are so much stronger than you think!

With an abundance of peace and love.....

Namaste!

Kristen

Learning To Weave

It's been three and a half months since I finished my Yoga Teacher Training and just about as long since my last post. Life has a funny way of sidetracking you away from certain things. I believe that's the way it's supposed to be. Everything happens at a certain time for a certain reason and its all part of a great universal design.

Since my last post, I have continued to teach and practice yoga and further expand my knowledge so I can be the best teacher to my students. Coming off the teacher training, I knew where I needed to improve my skills. I was told I needed to figure out how to be more comfortable weaving the focus and inspiration of the class into the instruction so the class had something to ponder in Downward Dog and hopefully connect what I was saying to something relevant in their life. I was so caught up in giving alignment instructions that often times the inspiration would fall by the wayside. I can't say that I have perfected this skill, but it's coming along.

I have also begun teaching another class at a different LA Fitness on Monday mornings. I was so nervous going in there on that first day. But I went in with the focus and inspiration being that of Change. How when confronted with change, our fight or flight mode tends to kick in since many people who have established a comfortable routine tend to resist moving out of that comfort zone. I spoke to seeing change as an opportunity for growth and surprises. To see even the most unfavorable circumstances as merely stepping stones to something better. That change can bring with it some discomfort, but to never lose sight of the fact that transformation is simply at hand and that change brings with it growing pains. Those growing pains ultimately result in producing a stronger and much wiser individual.

I have to teach at LA Fitness again this morning and will be using the analogy of cleaning out one's closet as a metaphor for also venturing into the dark, unexplored recesses of one's mind to do some spring or fall cleaning. We often dread the task of cleaning and organizing the closet. It's a task that seems to take forever and initially makes a huge mess that can seem overwhelming. We need to weed through each item and decide which ones to keep(happy memories) and which ones to either donate(learning experiences to be shared with others) or throw away(painful memories and experiences). We don't know why we hold onto the old, stained or ugly pieces in our closet and yet, they hang there.......taking up space. These pieces don't serve us and never have, so let them go and be free of them. We all know the benefit to cleaning out and organizing the closet. All of a sudden there is all this space and room for new things.....new possibilities. We have to make conscious decisions going forward about what is allowed to hang in our closet......what things we can afford to keep there and which ones have no business being there.

I'm hoping this concept will be well received by my class. If nothing else, it will certainly make them think about closet organization in a whole new way.

With an abundance of peace and love,

Namaste!

Kristen

A Contagious Energy

I cried on my yoga mat this morning. The passage the teacher read during Savasana struck a chord within me so powerful I couldn't resist the urge to just tear up. It spoke to my heart. One phrase in particular summed it up, "An idiot's joy." Wave after wave of gratitude just swept over me as the past three months flashed through my mind. My own transformation is so undeniably obvious and profound. I truly love who I am for the first time in my life and I feel completely unapologetic for parts of my personality, who I am and what I want out of this life that others may not agree with. It's who I truly am........take it or leave it.

But with this transformation comes an internal conflict which has me feeling anxious. I have spent the past three months surrounding myself with positive people who support each other. I have sought out opportunities to be consumed by their sense of community and radiant energy. They are all of like mind, open to possibilities, healthy and happy.....or so it seems. Regardless, they all carry with them an energy that gives off all these wonderful feelings of well being. I have immersed myself in that and in doing so have created my own energy which radiates out to others. It has drawn more people to me of like mind, body and spirit. I truly embrace that and welcome it. I'm so grateful to be surrounded by more people who share my energy and see yoga as an opportunity to grow as a person. I've grown so much within myself in such a short period of time, but there are those in my life who seem to have stopped growing or are just slow to catch up with me, and as such, our energies have a hard time matching up.

How do I reconcile this situation? Do I completely shut out those who carry a negative vibe? What if they are family; what then? How can I continue to grow and expand mentally and spiritually when I come face to face with guilt, cynicism and sarcasm from those who are closest to me, who know what I'm trying to do, see the benefits its had in my life, but still see it as a self-centered act with no consideration for my own family? I finally found myself on my yoga mat, I've finally found a peace within myself when I'm moving with my breath. It calms me when nothing else can. I feel like I'm being expected to return to the way things were as soon as I receive my YTT Certification. As if to say that the time I've had for myself, to discover myself has to end in order to get back to the business of being a wife and mother. What seems to fall by the wayside is that life is a journey, not a destination. Regardless of when my training ends, my journey and my growth continues and I will fight to have that acknowledged and respected.

I find myself seeking out those with energy like mine. My fellow trainees, my teachers, my students. Wanting to retreat to the comfort of their company when confronted with a negative energy. I've developed a longing for the vibrant energy I've allowed to consume me and take center stage in my mind and my heart, but at the same time, I'm confronted with guilt that I'm not doing enough to sustain the well being of those closest to me; those who demand the most of my time. I feel like my heart is being ripped to shreds as I grapple with passion vs. obligation.

Through it all however, I'm still happier than I've ever been. Life comes with challenges. I can't have the AWESOME without the NOT SO AWESOME. In the end it becomes a balancing act in figuring out how to be joyful while still being surrounded by those who would prefer to kill my joy. It becomes a practice in patience, hoping others will eventually feel inspired and want to change their life and how they approach it. And if they don't, learning to accept it. It's a willingness to open my heart to feel love in every situation, making myself a beacon to others who are trying to find their way.

As the last weekend of teacher training approaches, my heart is sad. I will miss my fellow trainees, but I know that even though we may not see each other as often, if at all following graduation, we are all connected by that same radiant energy that flows through our hearts. That same energy that brought us all together has bound us forever.

With love, gratitude and devotion,

Namaste!

Kristen

Making Love To My Soul

I step from the shower and my husband says, "Why are you showering before yoga? You are just going to get all sweaty anyway."

At first, I showered out of consideration for my fellow yogis. There's nothing worse than practicing yoga in close quarters when your neighbor stinks like the bar from the night before.

As I've gone through my teacher training I've developed a new relationship with myself. I've gone from being entirely too hard on myself to being more accepting, loving and patient. My body has transformed from a borderline, not very strong 135lb. athletic build to a 127lb. yoga build that can do Chaturanga push-ups like nobody's business.....and enjoys it. So much has changed within me in a few short months. I'm a new person after all that's happened. I'm stronger, more focused, I'm more in touch with my breath and I'm all around more happy.

I've discovered that I am capable of so much more than I thought I was. I've opened up to the possibilities within myself and recognized the truth of who I really am. It's this recognition that changed my reason for showering before yoga.

In the beginning of teacher training, going to the 3 required weekly classes was a chore. My body felt beat up. I was frustrated with my practice because I had to start all over again and re-learn what I thought I knew. I spent the first month and a half loathing yoga. Some days I wouldn't bother showering before class. I came close to throwing in the towel and walking away. And then, one day, I woke up and felt good in my body.

It was at that point that I realized that all the pain I was feeling was just my body transforming and using muscles that I didn't know it had. I had finally emerged from my chrysalis and from then on, I learned to love myself more after all my body and mind had been through. I realized I had more inner strength, resilience and perseverance than I had previously believed. I had a new relationship with myself. I came in contact with my soul through it all.

Now every time I prepare for class, I shower, I shave, I brush my teeth and use mouthwash. And it's no longer just for my fellow yogi neighbors that are mere inches away. I see my time on my mat as a date with myself.....a date with my soul. And as I move through my practice, the heat builds, the pace quickens and the sweat pours off of me like never before.....and I love every moment of it! I'm making love to my soul when I come onto my mat.

Now I do my best to practice yoga as much as possible; some days I will practice twice in one day. I get giddy with excitement to practice alongside my fellow yogis. The room pulses with breath, energy and strength. I sometimes wonder if we are all practicing for the same reason. The energy in the room feels like we are.

Until next time......

May joy course through your veins as you experience a deeper sense of yourself through your practice.

Namaste!

Kristen

Yoga & Dragons

I just took my children to see "How To Train Your Dragon" yesterday. It was a great flick! I highly recommend seeing it.

I found myself making an interesting yoga connection during the movie; one that nearly brought me to tears with realization. The main character, Hiccup, was learing how to fly his dragon, but in order to do so he had to figure out how to manipulate the tail in order to fly straight. He had it all figured out and written down....as long as he followed his own instructions, he could fly the dragon okay. At one point, those instructions got blown away and Hiccup was forced to rely on his instincts to help his dragon fly. It was his instinct that made all the difference, not the crib sheets. He learned to trust himself and his abilities in order to soar with his dragon.

In yoga, we do much the same thing. When just beginning or even learning a new asana, it's like taking flying lessons for the first time. We may read about the poses and feel like we know exactly what to do until we actually do it. At first everything seems like such a huge effort. There are so many new sensations in the body; many of which take time to get used to. And once we figure out the basics, then we move on to fine tuning and refining the practice, so we can fly smoothly and effortlessly. We make our adjustments in our poses. We become familiar with certain sensations; so much so that we trust what we feel in our bodies to be the correct sensation in order to achieve our desired results. There is a liberation there when we know we can rely on our instincts to take us where we want to go in our bodies and in our practice.

As I work to refine my own practice, I reflect on this analogy so I too can learn to soar with my own dragon.

Thanks for reading!

Until Next Time........

May joy course through your veins as you experience a deeper sense of self through practice.

Namaste!

Kristen